We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

Hello Hapi People! 

Today is a very special day. Its the 6th month mark of Zach and I's relationship. I'm not calling it an anniversary because it isn't technically a full year. However, 6 months is a significant amount of time to spend with someone. I know some of you are thinking, "Who cares?" lol, but I think it brings up an important subject. 

I've spent a great amount of my time, the last 6 months, with my boyfriend. Why? Well, because I love and care him, and vice versa. We accept each other faults, we take time to spend time and we treat each other well. That to me is the most important, treating each other well. It means we are not selfish in our love because we want to provide the best partner for each other. I'm not saying this to brag, though I do like to brag on Zach, but I'm saying this because I have known bad relationships too.

 Admittedly, I have struggled with low self esteem for most of my life. I've partnered myself with people who were not the best influence on me. I am a believer in the idea that we accept the love we think we deserve. I still struggle with accepting love sometimes! Yet, to think that if someone "cares" about you enough to give you any form of attention is not necessarily true. Trust me, I have associated with some real "winners", and its something I try not to regret. Thankfully ,being mistreated in my romantic relationships are in the past. Unfortunately, I know that isn't the case for everyone. 

So today I am challenging you, examine the relationships in your life. Boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, even family - are they treating you with love and respect? I do not claim to be a relationship expert or a cuonselor of any kind, but I do know from experience what is bad treatment. If you feel you should examine your relationships, ask yourself these questions:

1. Is this person kind to me? 

2. Does this person treat me with respect?

3. Do I give more than I recieve? (Relationships are not 50/50, everyone gives 100%.)

4. Do I feel safe around this person? (If you do not feel safe, talk to someone your are safe with)

5. Do you get mixed messages about how this person feels? 

6. Does this person value your thoughts and opinions?

7. Have you noticed a change in you behavior since being with this person?

 Examples: loss of sleep, changes in you eating, alcohol or drug use, lost interest or energy, sickness, anxious, tired or depressed a lot of the time, lost contact with your friends or family, lost self-confidence and feel afraid that you could not make it alone

These are signs of either not a positive relationship to even a toxic, abusive relationship. If you are treated this way, know that you are loved and deserve better than what is presently accepted. Find someone you can talk to if you feel your relationship is not what you want. Also, talk to your partner about your concerns - communication is the biggest issue for couples. Remember that you are important and deserve people in your life who see your significance. Love yourself so that you can love others and they can better love you.

Peace&Love,

Amy